Dealing with Difficult Family Members

Published on May 25th, 2011 by FPEServices

While some families may look perfect from the outside, the truth is that perfection is hardly ever the case. Whether you rarely encounter challenges with family members, or suffer daily as personalities collide, the good news is that there are strategies you can use to effectively get past these difficulties.

If you’re constantly stressed out when dealing with certain family members, it’s important to realize that you ultimately can’t change them. The best thing you can do for yourself is to work on your own issues and help yourself to better deal with situations that may arise. This way you’ll be happier in the long run.

Acquiring Understanding

Everyone can benefit from strengthening their understanding skills. Understanding is actually a difficult skill to acquire because it may not be easy to put yourself into another’s shoes. After all, if you don’t feel a certain way, how can you really know what it feels like?

One fact that can help you develop a greater understanding is that different people have different needs. Sometimes, when you’re trying to get your needs met, you may end up ignoring the needs of someone else. Ask yourself if your conflicts arise from differing needs.

When you face a disagreement with a family member, instead of reacting in anger, take a step back to evaluate the situation. See if you can figure out why the other person feels the way they do.

Maybe you’re worldlier, and the other person just hasn’t encountered all of the life lessons that you’ve experienced. Perhaps you aren’t aware of what they’ve gone through, and you could give them the benefit of the doubt.

It’s tough to be understanding when you know you’re the one reacting with logic and kindness. In this case, you may feel that you must prove yourself right and keep fighting until the other person understands your perspective. However, when you’ve mastered the art of understanding, you’ll realize when you should stop and just try to find a peace between you.

Keeping the Peace

A part of understanding is learning how to keep the peace. If you’re dealing with a difficult family member that you only see once in awhile, it should be relatively easy for you to find that peace temporarily. If you go into the situation with a positive mindset, you’ll be better able to put your differences aside for the duration of the visit.

If a situation arises where you would ordinarily react in anger, remember to take some deep breaths before you say anything. If you’re too tempted to fight back, remove yourself from the situation altogether and go outside to calm yourself.

It’s more difficult to keep the peace when you’re having conflicts with a family member whom you see with regularity. In fact, these challenges may be causing you a great deal of stress. Instead of continuing to fight about who’s right, it may be best to just agree to disagree and understand that the other person has a different perspective.

You can also achieve peace by compromising. For example, if a family member gets what they want one time, a fair compromise may be that you get your way the next time. The best compromises are win-win solutions where everyone walks away satisfied. Be creative in seeking agreeable solutions and you may find that your conflicts no longer exist.

Sometimes you may feel like nothing can be done to mend your relationship with the difficult person. Many times, though, once you start trying to resolve the situation peacefully, your difficult family members begin to make an effort as well. After all, you are family, and the ties that bind you together are stronger than the forces that try to pull you apart!

 

4 Ways to Strengthen the Bond With Your Children

Published on May 18th, 2011 by FPEServices

Few things are more important in life than the bond you share with your children. If you lack a close relationship with your kids, the bond can be a source of pain and anguish, while a strong connection with your kids can bring incredible joy and happiness.

If you’ve lost the closeness that you crave, you can strengthen the relationship in four practical ways.

Help Them With Homework

Help your children with their homework to show them that you’re interested in their education. This also lets them know that they can rely on you when they need help. The message you send is that they’re more valuable to you than anything else you could be spending your time doing.

Life is hectic and time is short and, one day, the time to develop this bond may be gone. Seize the day by taking the time to help your kids with their homework. If you do this on a regular basis, you may find the conversation wandering away from homework to topics that give you a glimpse into what’s most important to your kids.

Share Their Interests

Join your kids in activities and interests that they choose. Children naturally gravitate toward projects and activities they’re interested in, so ask questions about the activities they choose to engage in! Become curious about what makes them tick, and let them know that you’re curious. Fuel their passion and draw them close to you by sharing in what they love.

Find Common Interests

If you feel like you have nothing in common with your children, try to expose them to something that you really care about. Introduce them to your passions in a kid-friendly way and make the activity as fun for them as possible, while sharing your interests with them.

Often, your enthusiasm and interest in your children will cause them to become interested in the things you like, but be willing to accept that they may not enjoy the same things you do, no matter how hard you try. The closeness you experience when you share something you both enjoy is exhilarating.

Most lifelong passions start at childhood. Many passions are handed down from generation to generation. If you desire a lifelong closeness with your children, introduce them to the things you care about. Involve them and stir their curiosity, while communicating acceptance and love no matter what their interests may be.

If you aren’t sure where to begin, try one of these activities:

  • Take your children fishing.
  • Take them to your favorite team’s sporting event.
  • Take them shopping at their favorite store.
  • Try a mommy or daddy date with a meal at your favorite restaurant (or theirs).
  • Show them your favorite (age-appropriate) movie.
  • Read a favorite book together.

Frequently, the activity itself isn’t what children remember. The time you spend with them creates the memory. Your availability and interest are the two most important factors in creating the close relationship you deserve with your children.

Include Everyone

With one child, it’s fairly easy to incorporate the entire family in activities that strengthen the bond between you. If you have more than one child, however, remember to spread your attention and activities among them as evenly as possible.

A little effort goes a long way. Just make an effort, and your children will see that you really do want a close relationship with them more than anything else. Most importantly, begin today! It’s easier to create bonds with your children that last forever when they’re younger. Make your children a priority, and you’ll be rewarded with a bond that will last a lifetime.

 

Communicating Better With Those You Love

Published on May 11th, 2011 by FPEServices

When everyone in your life communicates well, things generally run smoothly. However, sometimes it can be tough to maintain a good connection, even with those closest to you.

Communication is a two-way street, and you’ll see the most success when everyone involved makes an effort to communicate effectively. Even when others miss the boat, though, strengthening your own communication skills will go a long way toward beneficial interactions.

Keep these tips in mind as you strengthen your communication skills:

  1. Be flexible and open. Even if it’s not the most convenient time for you, strive to be there for your loved ones when they want to talk. It’s important for them to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you.
  1. When it’s possible, prepare what you’re going to say. Sometimes communication issues happen just because you don’t say what you mean. This happens more often than you think! Thinking it through before you speak ensures that you send the message you intend.
  • Even in the middle of a conversation, take a moment to plan what you’re going to say next before you say it.
  1. Be a good listener. Learning how to effectively listen is a full fifty percent of the battle. You can be great at speaking, but if you don’t understand others, the skill may be useless.
  • You can strengthen your listening skills by just paying closer attention when others are speaking. Allow them to finish their thoughts before you speak again.
  1. Avoid jumping to conclusions. Jumping to conclusions leads to unnecessary complications. You might be assuming something that isn’t even true. It’s important to find out your loved ones’ true thoughts and feelings and clarify yours as well. Knowing the whole story can save people from getting hurt by incorrect assumptions, yourself included.
  1. Be understanding. Sometimes you’ll hold yourself and your loved ones to higher standards than you expect from others. Remember: no one is perfect, including you. If someone makes a mistake, explain to them that it’s okay.
  • Avoid holding a grudge because it will only cloud your communication efforts with negativity and tension.
  1. Be willing to compromise. Strive for the wisdom to recognize the difference between what you need out of a situation and what you want. The best solutions allow everyone to walk away from the situation satisfied with the outcome.
  1. Practice your skills. Good communication is a skill that you can always strengthen. Relationships between people are ever changing and there’s always something new that you can learn.
  • Be willing to continue learning how to better communicate with your loved ones. This exploration may enable your relationships to go that much deeper because you care enough to keep trying.

Remember that you should never be afraid to speak up when you’re talking with your loved ones. They’re not mind readers, and they deserve to know how you’re feeling! Conversely, it’s also important to be understanding and receptive to their feelings. Good communication can strengthen your bonds for a lifetime.

 

Getting Your Body and Mind Ready for Summer

Published on May 4th, 2011 by FPEServices

Many people look forward to summertime for a number of reasons. First of all, the sun is out and the weather is beautiful, making this time of year unique. This is also the time of year when all things in nature begin to grow from plants to animals, even our kids grow during the summer months. Therefore, it only makes sense that summertime is when you can experience an extraordinary level of growth in your personal life.

Therefore, since summertime is a prime time for personal growth, you need to learn how to prepare for it to ensure you are able to get the most out of the season. The first step is to think about what you want to experience most in your life at this time.

Body Preparation

While the majority of people focus on losing weight, tanning and finding the perfect bathing suit, self-discovery can bring you even more joy and fulfillment than those small accomplishments will. Why? Beauty is more about what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside, which is what self-discovery is all about.

One of the things that will help you feel better about yourself and your body during the summer is hydration. When your body is sufficiently hydrated, you’ll receive the energy you need to focus on the important things. Therefore, drink lots of water during the long, hot summer days. This will remove toxins from your body, leaving you feeling energetic, refreshed and positive about life.

Another great way to keep your body prepared for the heat of the summer is to begin an exercise routine. If you do this before summer arrives, your body will “crave” it and it will be easy to do. Exercising strengthens your muscles and energizes your body. As funny as it sounds, you will actually feel refreshed after your workouts!

Mind Preparation

Along with summer come an array of fun and exciting activities. From pool parties to barbecues with friends to long sunny days spend on a sandy beach – there are plenty of things to do during this warm and sunny months. It’s important to take advantage of these summer activities because they will help stimulate your body, mind and emotions!

While summer does bring a lot of fun activities, it also brings time restraints and stress. It can be overwhelming because there are often times when you’ll have various friends and family members who want to do something with you all at the same time! When this happens, you need to know how to effectively say “no.” When you say it gently, your friends and family won’t be upset, and you’ll be able to do the things you want to do most. Don’t feel obligated to participate in activities that take away from your personal time.

To prepare your mind for summer and get the most out of the season, consider following the tips below:

  • Make time for meditation and prayer
  • Use the summer nights to contemplate peacefully
  • Prioritize your time with those who share your beliefs and values
  • Make time for personal relaxation

Many people make the mistake of becoming overly busy during the summertime because there is so much to do and the weather is great. However, this can leave you feeling drained and cranky. Therefore, this summer, spend the days relaxing and doing the things that are most important to you. Take this time to re-discover yourself. This will ensure that you have one of the best summers possible and that your fulfillment will last long past the summer months!

 

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